I always feel like giving up with things. Truth is, it’s a normal subconscious way of being. It’s a part of life. What I find to be the pinnacle of pain sometimes for me is the moment right before I do feel like actually giving up which occurs exactly before I reach a positive breakthrough moment in the whole journey. Can you relate at all to this? I can see some of you nodding.
We can tie this reality with things that are work related, personal, study and of course parenting obstacles too. Whatever your mountain, your Goliath, your desert, your storm, your walk of uncertainty may look like, I am here to tell you that you can overcome it. It all starts with self-belief and wisdom in making them high quality choices. We are all desiring to make the best choices in life whether we are working on them now or wanting to officially start them tomorrow.
When it comes to following through with our goals, tasks, and strategies that we have tried implementing around the home so we can be that optimal parent we are forever desiring to be; there are always going to be the self doubts and that giving up attitude that lingers in the corner of our minds. Hold fast parents/caregivers, because a break through moment is about to occur.
I remember the day that my son was supposably diagnosed with speech delay at 23 months old and my whole world of trying to be the perfect parent just went crashing headfirst. I had thought that I had the right systems in play and the right strategies to help my son achieve the certain learning and developmental milestones down to a science. This shook me to take action instantly and to turn my attention towards him even more.
I’ll admit to this, parents do at times feel defeated in moments of their parenting journey. The naturally occurring emotion of entering an unknown environment of uncertainty is always scary at first. It can feel so unsettling when you don’t know what move to make or what step to take when you are exposed to a new challenge.
The first thing I did in trying to gain back control of my son’s learning journey was to reassess my living situation as well work commitments and anything else that was pulling me away from any time not being spent with him.
I looked at my weekly schedule and it was alarmingly packed with a heavy workload. I barely had time for myself to even think properly of what I needed to do around the home and all my systems in place seemed to be taped together instead of being firmly established.
In order to gain control of your routines and overcome any barriers or obstacles that are hindering yourself and your children in progressing, it takes having an honest reflection of yourself, looking at your current working affairs and anything else to be all laid out on the table and broken down into individual pieces.
By picking up each piece one by one and taking a hard look at each and assessing its worth is probably the hardest. Giving up things you thought were okay is not easy, but that’s where the growth and wisdom of making better choices comes into play. It’s where the ability to be truly and openly honest with yourself which is where the magic happens. It’s where the growth and self-development all start to resurrect.
In a sense, the blind fold comes off and the façade of life’s responsibilities becomes more apparent. At that point, you are able to truly see where you are more needed most and start to envision those first initial steps in taking back control of your own life.
Whatever your goals are with your family and yourself, they all have a direct effect on your goals and aspirations you have for your children too. We all have million-dollar ideas and certain achievements that we want to accomplish, so in order to make those come into fruition, we need to ensure we have the right routines in place, and also a level of self respect for ourselves in regards to how we want to spend our time.
Learning how to project manage our time is a characteristic that takes years to acquire and it’s only through various experiences and life lessons that we able to truly appreciate the undeserved gift of time.
Time management can also be coupled with the personal quality of self-discipline. Without self-discipline we aren’t able to follow through and be consistent with our own deepest desires for ourselves, for our lives and for our children.
The best way in acquiring a consistent mindset that is disciplined is to start small and start at a manageable level. Please don’t go 0-100 in your 10 steps to a new “you.” Start with one thing that you can manage each day regardless of the size and level of importance and add it to your non negotiable daily routine.
As long as you find that action item to be worthy enough to be in your new reinvigorated schedule, then it’s obviously needed to be there in the first place. You have given it meaning and significance. As long as it matters to you and your family, it’s important and needs to be achieved.
Your children need you to be an awesome project manager and timekeeper. They need you to remind them for who they are and what they are capable of achieving. Your children love learning from you. They want you around.
We make it out as if once they get to a certain age, our role of parenting or being their favourite person is no longer needed and therefore we are made reduntant.
This is not true. Your being there is so critical and if there is any way that you could help strengthen that bond, it would be to first and foremost show an earnest interest in wanting to be with them. Children love appraisal and someone to speak to about their wins and also their struggles. They also love having us guide them and provide them with logical reasoning and feedback in a loving and caring way.
Each scenario is unique and however we approach the learning and development side for our children, it all starts with being there for them. So, they know you are genuinely there; that your advice for life situations is always going to set you apart from anyone else’s that they may hear or take instead.
Being consistent and creative in our approach to time and showing a keen interest for our children's learning won’t show results overnight but in due course, your being there when things get tough will remind them that they do have you to lean on and to go to for support and guidance when they need it the most.
It’s time to grow out of our old thinking way and to walk in a renewed and confident way of being.
Consistency is always difficult to achieve at first but once you establish set routines and make manageable changes in your busy schedule, you will undoubtedly see the results shine ever so brightly in both your life and in your child’s life too.
Keep going amazing parent. You are doing great things.
With love.
Cass.